Random Thoughts...

This past Sunday our Pastor tackled the not so fun topic of prophecy.  Mostly we delved into staying positive about prophecy.  I am the first one to admit, I really try to avoid this whole topic altogether.  It is scary, yucky, sad and in my heart I know it is coming.  How can one stay positive about prophecy?  Pastor Lee focused on the amazing gift that God has given us, and that is time.  Time to make sure you are right in your heart and mind so that you can make it to the "big house".  Now I understand that sounds great, but I still get sad about the whole mess.  I get sad about the state of the world, of humankind.  There are some really great things about the world we live in today, but there is also so much evil and desperation.  I guess I am conflicted.  I want God to clean house, literally.  Like Pastor Lee said, in not so many words, this is not heaven!  It is a place fulling of hating, sinning, killing, starving...and the list goes on an on.  So in that way, I welcome and am happy about the extensive "cleaning" that needs to go on.  However, I am sad about it too.  I love living, and I love people.  I love waking up every morning knowing that anything can happen.  What saddens me is that this would end.  Not just for me, I know where I am going :) but for mankind.  I become sad thinking about the desperate times ahead for the rest of the world, and that eventually it will cease.  I know that as a Christian staying positive is my role, it IS in my heart, because I know I'll join God in heaven.  But I also get sad for the end.  I find myself thinking "things will change, things will get better"...when in reality that probably isn't reality without "the end."  At this point, I try to clear the fear from my heart and head, especially when I look at the world around me and realize...all of the prophecies are complete, except the end game.  That sends chills down my spine, both good and bad!  I want it to happen, and yet...I don't.  I can't help hoping the depravity and sickness our country and the world is suffering will turn itself around.  For the sake of my children and their children.  This is a bit rambling, a bit ranting, but it has been on my mind since Sunday, and strangely it was something I was thinking about even before the service.  God always speaks right to my heart, when I am humble enough to listen.  This was a dark topic, with a lot of golden and silver light illuminating it, if that makes sense.  I don't know if anyone else thinks about this, or if everyone else just tries to avoid it, denying it because it isn't so fun to think about.  I see the validity of being positive, but I have great empathy for those who will suffer and are suffering right now.  I guess I am positive and hopeful for myself, but so sad that at some point it has to end.  While I know many non-Christians probably read this and say "Christians have been saying this stuff for years" and many will think I am nuts, I am putting this out there.  If you have a response, send it my way!
"I am the Alpha and Omega the Beginning and the End. To all who thirsty I will give the springs of the water of life without charge" Revelation 21:6